Pastor Seth Says Goodbye
Dear Fellowship Memphis,
I'll get straight to the point: I have accepted a position with a young Memphis-based company, and I will be transitioning out of my pastoral responsibilities at the end of April.
That sentence was a lot harder to write than I anticipated. I still remember so clearly the moment when I sensed the call from the Lord to move my family to Memphis, TN, to help shepherd and lead the family of faith called Fellowship Memphis. After having spent a few days going through numerous interviews, it occurred during a Sunday morning service at Colonial Middle School. My oldest was 5 at the time (she's now 13), and I held her as the church sang Revelation Song. This diverse and compelling congregation was lifting their praise, singing "Holy Holy Holy is the Lord God Almighty" when the Spirit of God said, "Seth, this is your family now." Three months later, we were officially Tennesseans.
We asked everyone we met the same question during that season: what is your favorite thing about living in Memphis? We heard the same answer from every single person: the people. Memphians love one another in a unique and gripping way. The kind of love that makes people stay where they are because they recognize the scarcity of such a community in a hyper-individualized and isolated culture. And sure enough, if you were to ask us today what our favorite thing about Memphis is...without a doubt, it's the people. The people have kept us here for these 7 1/2 years.
A lot can happen in 7 1/2 years. We moved to Memphis as a family of five and became a family of six. We've experienced the deepest of joys even while simultaneously walking through the deepest of valleys. We've taken the seeds of many potential relationships, planted them in the fertile soil of time and grace, and have reaped a harvest of community and love that can and will weather any storm that comes against them. We love the people.
This is why this transition has already been, and will continue to be, especially difficult. Thankfully, our sadness is mitigated by the fact that this transition does not involve moving to a new place and starting all over. We get to continue reaping the harvest of existing fruitful community while also sowing new seeds along the way.
Now, one of the questions you might ask is why I have decided to resign from vocational ministry. If I'm honest, I am still haunted by that question in my weaker moments. But this is not a decision made in haste. I have been a pastor for over 15 years. And while those years have been filled with profound and captivating connective experiences, there has always been this underlying frustration. Not with any church in particular. I know every church is going to have problems. Instead, it's a festering frustration rooted in longing. I love the Church with every ounce of my heart and soul, creating in me a persistent angst for her, longing to see so much more for His Bride.
And it's this unshakeable love for Jesus and His Church convinces me that I will never stop being a pastor. I will never stop fighting for the hearts of the sons and daughters of God. It's just that it won't be how I provide for my family and others now.
There's a well-known parable told by David Foster Wallace at a graduation commencement. He says: one day, these two fish were in the ocean. One fish swims up to the other and asks, "hey, how's the water today?" To which the other fish responds, "what's water?" The point is that we can become so accustomed to how things are that we never actually take a step back and take a critical look.
The American Church is in pretty dire straits. We've all heard the statistics and projections. It doesn't look great. But I don't believe it's hopeless. It's redeemable, but it will require exploring the unknown. We've all heard the definition of insanity by now: doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result. Something different must be sought, found, and implemented.
I'm trying to say that I've begun realizing that I've simply been swimming in the waters of the American Church model because it's all I've ever seen or known. But the Lord has placed a specific call on my life to seek a new expression of church to follow His Spirit wherever He wants to lead me. Please don't hear me say that Church, as we have experienced it is somehow innately wrong, and of course, God has been faithful to work through it in various ways for many years. But the Spirit is leading me somewhere else. Most likely, to something simpler, rooted more in faith and obedience than expertise and degrees.
Martin Luther initiated the Great Reformation in the 16th century with his 95 Theses. And what the Great Reformation accomplished was that it set free the Word of God, which was held captive by professionals. He placed that Word back where it belongs: in the hands of God's people. While I certainly do not believe I am anything close to Martin Luther, I firmly believe that a second reformation must occur. We must set free the ministry of the church, which is so often held captive by professionals, and place the ministry back where it belongs: in the hands of God's people.
On that note, allow me to encourage you, Fellowship. Fellowship Memphis is not the same church it was 7 1/2 years ago. Not even a little bit. Fellowship Memphis has experienced some of the most challenging, faith-testing, and formidable years I have ever seen a church endure...and yet She has endured. And Fellowship Memphis, I can confidently say, is a church that shares this deep desire for a more genuine expression of the faith. It's a church that has seen the futility of following charisma and is yearning for a simple and bold faith, following Jesus wherever He might lead. As hard as it has been at times, it's been a joy to see this transformation over the years.
Ok then, you might ask again why I am resigning from vocational ministry. A couple of the guys from the search firm helping to find Fellowship's new Lead Pastor were here a few weeks ago. And when my meeting wrapped up with them, they prayed over me. It was an incredibly meaningful experience. One of the guys said this during his prayer for me: "Lord, I can sense so clearly that Seth is longing to leave a spiritual inheritance for his children." Whew. I tear up now even as I write that. That's it! I want nothing more than to be able to leave them with a powerful and soul-gripping experience of church that provokes them toward faith, adventure, risk, obedience, love, and unity.
Now, I realize that after this ecclesiological journey has been experienced, I may indeed end right back where I started, in vocational ministry. But if that happens, I will be at peace with the way things are and will be a better pastor. But until I take this leap of faith and follow where the Spirit is guiding, my heart will always be in a state of unrest.
I love the Church. I want so much for the Church. I want the Church to settle for nothing less than what the New Testament says is possible through the gifted Holy Spirit. So it's time. Time for me to get out of the water, follow where the Spirit is leading me, and continue to be astonished by His mercy and grace toward my family and me.
You're in good hands, Fellowship. God is always for your good, working all these together for you. He has done an incredible work in and among the staff. Support them. Encourage them. Love them well. I can assure you they love you more than you could know. But most importantly, seek first the Kingdom of God, and let God take care of the rest.
Serving as a pastor with you has undoubtedly been the most formative season of my life. Your brother in Christ,
Seth
P.S. I am excited to preach once more on April 23 at the St. George’s campus. And we will be around even after that.
